think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
