All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
