I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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