Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
