She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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