he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize