Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize