You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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