we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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