I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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