We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
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