I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
