you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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