This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
