2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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