all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
