I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
