did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
