i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
