When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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