Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i want to swaddle you in tequila
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My dream of liquor pitchers came true
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
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He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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