____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
