Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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