Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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