Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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