You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
