She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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