I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize