why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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