Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I supernannyed him into submission
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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