We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize