So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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