They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
