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we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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