i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize