eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
