yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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