So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
