My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
