he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize