I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
