Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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