just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
