you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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