I haven't been this sober since birth.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
