I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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