we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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