My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
