I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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