I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
