Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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