He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
