We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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