South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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