The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
