this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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